Politeness rules change all the time, and what we once thought of as rude is now totally fine. What gives? Let’s look at 18 behaviors that were seen as rude before but are now acceptable or even polite.
Asking Personal Questions
In the past, asking someone about their salary or why they’re still single was the quickest way to make things awkward, but it’s now become part of a normal conversation. We live most of our lives online, and asking questions about it is completely acceptable. Instead of being nosy, most people think you’re just taking an interest in their lives.
Keeping Your Phone Out
Leaving your phone out at dinner was the height of rudeness because it told your dinner guests that you had other important things to worry about. But today, there’s nothing wrong with it. We understand that you might need to check in with your loved ones or even take a quick work call, so staying connected is fine.
Casual Dress Code
Wearing jeans in the office or sneakers at church used to be a big no-no, although these “mistakes” have become fashion-forward now. We care more about expressing ourselves and being comfortable while we’re doing it. Our attitudes have become more relaxed, and so have our clothing choices.
Not RSVPing Immediately
If you didn’t RSVP the second you got an invite, or at least pretty soon after, people thought you were being rude. But today, everyone’s juggling so many different things that people understand you might need a minute or two to check your calendar. After all, a thoughtful response is better than a rushed one.
Sending Invites Electronically
Similarly, even our attitudes toward how we send messages have changed. You used to send a paper invite for every little gathering, even though it wasn’t great for Mother Nature. Thankfully, sending an electronic invite is fine, especially since it’s much better for the environment and far simpler.
Eating Before Everyone Is Served
Gone are the days when you had to watch your delicious food go cold because you were waiting for everyone else’s arrival. These days, people are happy to start eating it while it’s still hot, as we’d rather enjoy the moment instead of waiting around. Sticking to stiff table rules isn’t fun for anybody.
Refusing Food or Drink
Declining food isn’t as disrespectful as it once was. It’s far more acceptable to say no to food or drink, whether that’s because of allergies or a diet. We now understand that people need to care for their needs, and most hosts will respect this. Even just saying “no” because you don’t want to try that food is okay.
Electronic Communication Over Face-To-Face
In the past, sending a text instead of having a face-to-face conversation seemed impersonal and even rude. Today, though, we love the convenience of sending an email or a DM to get straight to the point. We can communicate on the go without the pressure of having to set up a meeting time.
Not Making Small Talk
If you want to skip the small talk and get down to business, we understand now that it’s not cold but efficient. People value their time and yours, meaning that cutting to the chase is always a plus. Although research shows that small talk is useful, we’d rather focus on the things that are actually important to make the most of our time.
Wearing Hats Indoors
Wearing a hat indoors isn’t a sign of disrespect anymore, but more of a fashion choice or even just a way to cover up a bad hair day. As long as you’re not blocking anyone’s view at the movie theater, it’s perfectly fine. We’re much more understanding of people’s right to express their style.
Declining Handshakes
Thanks to the pandemic, avoiding a handshake doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being rude anymore. Just nodding your head gets the job done, and you don’t have to risk sharing any germs. Plus, it’s much quicker, and you don’t have to worry about shaking the other person’s hand too hard or too softly.
Eating on the Go
Eating while you walk or ride the bus was a big no-no because it was loud and disrespectful to your fellow passengers. Unfortunately, as we’re all working more than before, it’s become completely normalized. If anything, it’s more of a sign that you’re a go-getter who doesn’t have the time to stop for even a minute.
Re-Gifting
Re-gifting presents used to be tacky, although our attitudes toward it have changed quite a bit. Instead, we think it’s smart because why should your presents gather dust when you can make someone else happy with it? You can pass that unwanted present to someone else and clear some space while you’re at it.
Outsourcing Personal Jobs
Hiring someone to help out with the housework isn’t lazy anymore but a sign that you value your time. It allows you to prioritize what’s important to you because, let’s be honest, everyone needs a helping hand sometimes. Even if you’re just spending time with family or catching a break, hiring some help is not rude.
Ignoring Formal Titles in Emails
Back in the day, you had to use formal titles in emails like “Dear Mr. Wilson” because this was polite, and jumping straight to “Hi Tom” was rude. But today, lots of us would rather communicate faster and friendlier, so we’ll just use first names. After all, it makes the conversation way less stuffy.
Taking Leftovers Home
Some of us remember asking for a to-go box, which might’ve seemed like you were scrimping or didn’t like the food. Now, most people won’t bat an eyelid as we know it’s not necessarily a sign you’re being rude. If anything, we’re trying to stop good food from going to waste.
Not Offering Your Seat
In the past, if you didn’t offer your seat to an older person on a crowded bus or train, you’d get some seriously funny looks from other people. But people have become more aware of invisible disabilities today, and we recognize that we shouldn’t make assumptions about other people. People should be able to look after their needs without unwanted attention.
Interrupting During Conversations
In lots of offices today, don’t be surprised if you see people sharing their thoughts during a conversation and interrupting other people. It’s all part of the spirit of teamwork and keeps the conversation flowing. Plus, we also understand that some people can’t control it, thanks to greater awareness of things like ADHD.
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