It’s never easy watching your parents age. It can be even more frustrating having the patience to deal with their slower way of living, particularly when you’re juggling a hundred things at once. We’re all guilty of being blunt when we’re not moving forward, but try to bear in mind that your elderly parents are doing the best they can. Go easy and look at some things you should refrain from saying to them.
You’re So Forgetful
Our memories naturally start to fade as we age, so it’s to be expected that our elderly parents will have a few forgetful moments here and there. Calling them out for it is pretty harsh, particularly as many elderly people worry about serious illnesses like dementia. Try to show a bit of patience; it’s much kinder and won’t make them panic.
You’re Too Old to Understand
While different age groups have unique habits and patterns that are part of their generational design, it shouldn’t be assumed that an elderly parent is too old to understand. They might not be as quick-minded as they once were, and many modern ways are lost on them, but choosing words more selectively is a kinder way of allowing them to opt-out.
You Shouldn’t Be Driving
Telling your parents they shouldn’t be driving anymore is harsh and controlling, even if you genuinely have concerns about their road safety. Rather than making them feel inadequate about their fading ability, it’s better to have a full conversation about an alternative mode of transport.
You’re Too Slow
We all slow down as we age, and elderly people don’t enjoy having to take things steadier. Being reminded of their inability to move rapidly isn’t very kind and can leave them feeling decrepit. Avoid involving them in situations that require a bit of speed and agility to avoid any frustration and upset.
You Don’t Need to Worry About That
Every parent worries about their children, so telling them not to is futile and ignorant. Rather than dismiss their input, try to put their mind at ease by saying you have it under control and perhaps consider being more selective in what you share with them in the future. You’ll probably find that it’s you worrying about them at some point.
You’re Losing It
Health issues such as dementia and Alzheimer’s can worry elderly people. Telling them they’re losing it can elevate or prompt new concerns. What doesn’t help is that forgetfulness is akin to aging, so it can be doubly problematic. If you notice any memory changes, always be supportive and offer to see a doctor.
You Shouldn’t Be Eating That
Turning into the food police isn’t going to put anyone at ease. It’s true that certain foods don’t sit quite as well beyond a certain age and that we’re more prone to issues like heartburn and indigestion, but be more helpful in your approach and discuss meal plans and grocery purchases that aid their well-being.
You’re Going Deaf
Losing the ability to hear comes with older age, so pointing this out to an elderly parent can do more damage than good. If you have genuine concerns about your parents hearing, get them checked out by a professional and avoid cracking jokes about it unless you’re certain it’ll land the way it’s intended to.
You’re Too Old to Try New Things
You might as well tell them to throw in the towel if you use a statement like this. Not only is it needlessly harsh, but it also removes any sense of adventure they might have. Encourage them to go for it as long as it’s within reason, and tell them you’ll support any choices they make.
You’re Likely to Break Something
Whether referring to their aged bones or an inanimate object, the implications are the same. You’re essentially telling them they’re too fragile to attend to something, and it won’t be the nicest thing for them to hear. If you’re concerned about them having an accident, kindly advise them to opt out and let them know you’ve got it.
You’re Being Neurotic
Health anxieties are common in the elderly and are often associated with concerns about common age-related illnesses. Dementia and heart problems are very real and legitimate things to panic about, particularly if they’ve lost friends or relatives from similar problems. Be sure to explore their issues and consult with a professional. Even if their physical health is fine, they may need some support with their mental health.
You Need to Retire
It isn’t always bad to advise your parents to retire, particularly if you’re concerned that they’re needlessly overworking. The delivery can be fine-tuned, though, and it’s advisable to have an adult conversation about exploring the next phase of life and having some valuable time to enjoy life a bit more. It sounds much more appealing than making them feel like they’re too old to work.
You Need to Get Out More
Advising your elderly parents that they could benefit from some time outdoors isn’t a bad thing. Their mental health needs to get plenty of fresh air and keep up with social interaction. However, it may be an attack if offered as a throwaway comment or command. Spend time encouraging them to get outside and try to establish any reasons why they might be avoiding doing so.
You’re Winding Down Now
Old age doesn’t come easy for anyone, but reminding them they’re on the decline is in no way inspiring. It’s more likely to make them feel like their days are limited and there’s little left to live for. If you want to save your elderly parents’ mental health, avoid using harsh statements like this one. Instead, encourage activities and conversations that support their health and well-being.
You’re Always Complaining
If you think your elderly parent complains a lot, have you stopped to consider what they’re complaining about? They may have started mithering in their older age, which is perfectly natural, but perhaps it’s time to listen to their complaints and see if they are valid. You might be surprised.
You’re Too Old to Wear That
The older generations are embracing self-expression like never before, so don’t be responsible for spoiling their fun. For too long, elderly people have been confined to socially accepted clothing and attitudes, making them feel invisible. Let them wear what they want and feel like a million dollars. They’ve earned the right.
You Should Stop Dying Your Hair Now
Many people have reason to cut back on the hair dye if it’s damaging their hair, and that’s an ageless fact. Telling your parents to stop dying their hair and leave it to turn its natural shade of grey or white isn’t beneficial. Choosing to go natural can be a major turning point for older age groups and shouldn’t be handled flippantly. Discuss their options with them and throw a few suggestions in. Just don’t command them to embrace a short white perm.
You’re Too Old for a Partner
If you think one of your parents is too old for companionship, you’re thinking of yourself more than them. It can be hard for offspring to accept their parents meeting a new partner after the loss of their own, but a need for companionship is ageless, particularly as families grow older and get on with their lives. If your parent is lonely and is looking for or has a companion, support their decision until you have a genuine reason not to.
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