We all know just how important it is to have friends, but sometimes, things aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. Beyond the obvious red flags like lying or betrayal, some other signs might be telling you that a friendship’s more hassle than it’s worth. Here are 18 warning signs in a friendship that you probably shouldn’t avoid.
Boundaries? What Boundaries?
A friend who doesn’t seem to get the hint that you need some “me time” isn’t one you should stick around with. It’s always good to have space, so don’t feel guilty if you’re trying to get some. Friendships should make life better instead of making you feel smothered, and you should stay away from anyone who’s always popping up.
Bad Advice
It’s always great to have a friend who’s ready to dish out advice unless you realize that their advice is constantly getting you into trouble. If following their suggestions usually leaves you in a bad way, you might want to rethink your relationship with them. Are you sure they’ve got your best interest in mind?
Always Jealous
Your friends should be there to support you, especially with your achievements. Anyone who doesn’t seem like they can stand to see you succeed or is always downplaying your achievements isn’t a real friend. They might just be jealous of you instead. Your real friends should be the ones clapping loudest for you when you win.
Too Needy
An overly needy friend constantly treats you like their personal therapist or crisis manager, which is okay on its own. But when the tables are turned, they’re nowhere to be found. Friendships are meant to be give and take, so when this doesn’t happen, you might end up running on empty.
A One-Way Street
With this kind of friend, you’re always the one making plans or texting them. If they never initiate a conversation and you’re more like a friendship manager than a friend, it can feel pretty exhausting. Friends should be eager to catch up with you and share experiences with you, not just go along for the ride.
Constant Criticism
Constructive criticism is one thing, but a friend who’s constantly picking at you can seriously wear you down. This could be their way of keeping you second-guessing yourself and who needs that? True friends should give you support and make you feel confident, which you can’t get from constant criticism.
A Selfish Friend
Your friend shouldn’t get upset every time you hang out with your other friends, and they definitely shouldn’t bad-mouth them. This kind of friend will end up isolating you from your support network, and that’s a huge red flag. They’re trying to control you, and you absolutely need to stay away from them.
Backhanded Compliments
Backhanded compliments or passive-aggressive comments are never nice to hear, especially when they’re coming from friends. These remarks can chip away at your self-esteem, and you shouldn’t just ignore them as harmless jokes. If anything, they might actually be quite hostile towards you, and that’s not how a friend should be.
Changing Yourself
Have you ever noticed that you’re a little more cynical or even mean when you hang around this friend? That’s a huge red flag. Friends should bring out the best in you instead of making you act in a way that seems off. You should never feel like a friend is making you feel like something you’re not.
Not-So-Secret Keeper
Trust is huge in any relationship, and your friends should never use something against you that you told them in private. It’s a kind of betrayal that destroys trust and can leave you feeling vulnerable. Someone who’s done this once will probably do it again, so you should stay away from them.
Always in Competition
Life’s not always a game, although some friends don’t seem to understand that. You should never feel like you’re constantly being compared to them, and if you are, it might be time to step off the field. Friendship should focus on mutual support and happiness instead of one-upping each other all the time.
The Flake
Plans with a flake are more “maybe” than “definite,” which is understandable sometimes because people do get busy. But if they’re consistently bailing on you at the last minute, that means they don’t value your time or you. It can make you feel unimportant, which is definitely not what you want from a true friend.
One-Sided Conversations
You care about their issues, but as soon as you start sharing, they zone out. A friend who doesn’t listen isn’t a real friend at all, as true friends are interested in what’s going on with you, too. They shouldn’t just dump their own problems on you and leave you to deal with your own issues. Listening is a two-way street, and without it, it’s just a monologue.
Too Dramatic
This kind of friend brushes off your worries, emotions, and overreactions, telling you to “stop being dramatic.” That’s not cool because everyone deserves to have their feelings heard and validated. If your friend can’t lend an ear without minimizing your experiences, it could be time for you to find support elsewhere.
Easily Angered
Someone who turns even the smallest misunderstandings into huge arguments makes any friendship feel like a marathon, and you shouldn’t be friends with someone like this. After all, do you really want to walk on eggshells all the time? When they get angry way too quickly, you’ll start to feel less trusting and comfortable around them, which is bad news for a friendship.
Feeling Drained
Hanging out with a good friend should make you feel energized afterward because friendships should be a source of happiness. If you constantly feel worse off or drained after you’ve met them, it’s a sign that the friendship might be doing more harm than good. This kind of relationship is terrible for your mental and physical health.
Can’t Say Sorry
We all make mistakes now and again, but the important part is being able to apologize and learn from them afterward. A friend who won’t do this is someone who doesn’t take accountability for their actions or show any respect for your feelings. Soon enough, small issues will become big ones, and holding onto your pride at the cost of a friendship just isn’t worth it.
Sudden Changes
You might notice that your friend suddenly starts acting differently around you for no apparent reason, such as canceling plans more frequently or not being as open as they once were. Don’t ignore it because any changes in behavior could mean that something’s up. You need to address these changes so you’ll both know where you stand.
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