Talking about aged care with a parent is never easy, and it’s a lot harder when they’re not too keen on the idea. But it’s an important conversation to have, and you need to do it. Let’s take a look at 18 ways to talk about it in a way that’ll make things a little less scary.
Other Important People
Think about who your parent listens to besides you, like a close friend or a favorite neighbor. Sometimes, getting someone they respect to speak to them can make a huge difference. They might be open to ideas from the people that they trust, so don’t forget to get them involved in the conversation.
What Annoys Them?
Before you start looking for solutions, try to understand what’s really bothering them about aged care. Are they scared of losing their independence, or maybe they’ve heard some bad things about care homes? You need to talk about their fears calmly so you can work out the main reason they’re so resistant to it.
Actions Over Words
How you talk to your mom and dad can also change these conversations. If they’re straight-talkers, then cut to the chase, but if they love stories, maybe share a positive experience with someone else. When you change your approach to match their conversation style, you can keep things going.
Decisions, Decisions
Make sure they’re the ones making the decisions because nobody likes being told what to do, especially your parents. They should be involved in every step and be able to make the choices for their own life. You want them to feel more comfortable and in control so they’re more likely to get involved in the process.
Other Options
Going straight into talking about nursing homes might cause your parents to panic. Instead, try doing something a little more manageable, like hiring a home aide a few times a week or visiting a local senior center. There are lots of steps before a full-time care facility, and these might not seem so scary after all.
Testing the Waters
Similarly, why not start with a short trial instead of going into the full thing? Maybe they could try a temporary care arrangement to experience it without feeling like they’ve got no other option. Just remember that this should be a no-pressure situation so they can see if things work for them and if they feel right.
More Friends
You should also point out the social side of things and remind them that these facilities are a place to be with other people. If there’s a club or group that they could join, this could make the idea of aged care a little more appealing to them. Coffee mornings and bingo nights are enough to make some people interested.
Good News
Try sharing some stories about aged care from people who are currently going through it. There are plenty of examples on the internet of people who’ve found happiness and new friendships in their new living arrangements, so let your parents know about this. Learning about these positive outcomes can sometimes completely change their opinions of these facilities.
Expert Advice
Similarly, you could also bring in an expert to speak to them, like a geriatric care manager. They can explain the whole process without the emotional baggage of speaking to a family member. In some cases, hearing it from an outsider can help them understand things in a drama-free way.
Specific Details
Don’t ignore the practical details, like the legal and financial bits of going into aged care. Letting them know the ins and outs can help them feel more prepared and less anxious about what’s ahead. You might be tempted to just focus on the bigger picture, but your parent has a right to know all the little details.
Safe and Sound
Let your parent know that you’re worried about their safety and explain how aged care could help. You might want to mention things like “emergency support” and how they’ll get help on a daily basis so they’re safe and sound. Try to reassure them that the point of these facilities is to make sure everyone has help around whenever they need it, even if they don’t.
Not the End
Of course, moving to a care setting doesn’t mean you’ll visit less, and your parent should know that. You should make plans to continue visiting regularly so they know they won’t be isolated from the rest of the family. Even if their living situation changes, your bond with them should stay the same.
Health Comes First
If a doctor suggests that some form of aged care is important, that can be a strong argument for why it’s a good idea to start considering other options. You should let them know that getting professional care will help them to manage their health issues a lot better. This way, they’ll stay healthier and happier for longer. What could be better than that?
High-Quality Service
When you’re looking at facilities, try to stick to reputable places that you know are well-regarded and certified. This can ease your parent’s fears about not getting a good quality of care. You could even show them the recent inspection report of some of these places so your parent knows that you’re only looking at the highest standards of care.
Using Technology
There’s so much technology out there that can help them stay independent, so let them know about it. For example, emergency buttons and medication reminders can make things a little safer, but without the constant presence of a caregiver. This way, your parent will still have their personal space and freedom.
Staying Active
Just because they’re going into a care facility doesn’t mean they can’t keep doing the same hobbies or following the same routine. Many places will give them the option to continue doing what they love, which could make the idea of care more appealing. In fact, most modern care facilities actually encourage people to have personal hobbies so they’ll stay more engaged.
No More Misunderstandings
Sometimes, people are worried about aged care simply because they’ve based their fears on outdated ideas or information that’s just plain wrong. You should set the record straight by clearing up any misunderstandings they have and showing them what care facilities are really like today. This can make them feel less nervous about the whole thing.
Being Independent
In the end, you should celebrate their independence and make it clear that the main goal is to keep them doing their own thing, on their own terms, for as long as possible. Accepting a little help now could help them to stay independent for longer. Instead of giving up their freedom, they’re just making it longer, and that’s a win for everyone.
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