Whenever you’re talking to someone from the South, you want to keep the conversation sweet and smooth like their tea. They might be warm and hospitable people, but they’ve also got a bite if you annoy them. Here are 19 things you shouldn’t say to Southerners.
Not So Sweet
If you hear someone say, “Bless you heart” down South, don’t rush to feel flattered because it might not be the pat on the back that you think it is. Sometimes, Southerners use it to sugarcoat an insult, especially when they think you’re being a little foolish. So, if you want to use it yourself, make sure it fits the situation, or you might step on a few toes.
North vs South
Talking about how things are done differently “up North” can come across like you’re bragging or criticizing the South, even if you’re not. There’s no “better” way of doing things, the important part to remember is that everyone has their own way of doing them. Comparing things can seem like you don’t really care for where you are right now.
Misjudging Southern Food
Asking if all Southern food is fried is a big no-no, so avoid it at all costs. After all, would you ask an Italian person if all their food is spaghetti or margherita pizza? Southern cuisine is a mix of different flavors and styles, like peach cobbler and jambalaya. You should explore the local dishes with an open mind because you never know what non-fried goodness you might find.
Bad Barbecue
Likewise, saying “you must love barbecue” might seem harmless, but it ignores people’s personal preferences. While many Southerners enjoy barbecues, and they’ve certainly got a long history, it’s not the only thing on the menu, and you’re better off asking for local food recommendations instead. This way, you’re giving them a chance to show off their cuisine.
Speaking to Everyone
Avoid saying “you guys” when you’re in the South because it’s a pretty clear sign that you’re not from there. It doesn’t matter how many people are in the group or who you’re talking to because “y’all” is the default phrase to go for. Using “you guys” or “you all” could make it seem like you’re not trying to blend in with the locals.
Traditional Tea
You shouldn’t ask why the tea is always sweet because it’s a tradition in the South. If someone offers you a glass, be grateful that they’ve done so and just enjoy the hospitality that they’ve shown you. They’ve taken time out of their day to brew you some deliciousness, so why wouldn’t you want to show you’re thankful?
Not Really a Compliment
You might think that telling a Southerner, “You speak so well,” is a compliment, but it’s easy to take that the wrong way. It comes across like you’re surprised that they’re actually articulate and that you assume most Southerners can’t speak properly. Just compliment what they’re saying instead of how they’re saying it.
Accent Accusations
Similarly, you don’t want to ask someone, “Is that your real accent?” because it seems like you’re questioning who they are. Many Southerners are proud of their accents, as they’re part of their identity and heritage, so you don’t want someone to feel like you’re attacking this. Respect their background by steering clear of this conversation.
Simple Sounds
Although country music is big in the South, that doesn’t mean that’s the only thing they listen to. For example, you’ve got Elvis’s rock ‘n’ roll and the blues of B.B. King, so you don’t want to ignore all of these different genres. Tune into the local stations, and you’ll find so many different types of Southern music beyond country.
Commenting on Comfort
Asking “aren’t you hot in that?” about someone’s outfit, especially in the heat of the South, can come off as a bit nosy. What people wear is completely their choice, and it has nothing to do with you. Even if it’s something you wouldn’t wear, just assume they’ve got their own reasons for doing so, even if it’s a thick wool sweater in August.
Gun Talk
Don’t simply jump to asking, “Do you own a gun?” just because you’re in the South. It’s a stereotype to avoid because owning a gun is a personal and sensitive topic that isn’t worth getting into an argument over. Even though stats show that Southerners tend to own more guns, you should stick to safer conversations like local places to eat or landmarks to visit instead.
Racing to Conclusions
While NASCAR is certainly big in the South, not everyone’s into it, and you shouldn’t just assume that they are. Like in any place, Southerners are into a bunch of different things, so respect this. Instead of asking about racing, try to see if you have any common hobbies or pastimes you can talk about.
Problematic Politics
Never assume that all Southerners vote a certain way by saying, “I bet you vote red” or something similar. Politics is personal, and assuming what someone believes based on where they live is problematic. You’re better off keeping the conversation light and away from the polls because there’s plenty more to talk about.
In the Past
Using words like “backward” to describe any part of the South is both outdated and disrespectful. Of course, Southerners are proud of their rich history and culture, but they’re also forward-thinking people who care about what’s going to happen next. Focus on the positives and respect the progress that’s happening in the South.
Foolish Farming
There’s no point asking every Southerner, “Do you live on a farm?” as only 2% of the entire population lives on a farm. Take a walk through Atlanta or Houston, and you’ll see that many Southerners live in busy cities packed with the latest tech. Don’t expect to see a homestead or a cowboy on every single corner.
Pronunciation Problems
You also shouldn’t tell someone they’ve spoken incorrectly or “that’s not how we say it” when they’re using some of the local language. Each place has its own way of speaking, which is an important part of people’s identity, so why not celebrate these differences? You could even pick up some phrases to impress your Southern friends.
Manners Matter
Telling a Southerner that “manners don’t really matter” can rub them the wrong way. Down here, politeness is a part of life that people try to show off wherever they can, such as by using “ma’am” or “sir.” Whenever you’re visiting, you should try to do the same and show some respect for the local customs.
Ignoring College Football
College football is almost like a religion in the South, especially on Saturdays in the fall, so you should avoid talking about it being “just a game.” It’s a special time for the community to get together and cheer for their favorite teams, so take part in the excitement instead of downplaying it. Why wouldn’t you want to be a part of this fun?
Overlooking Church
Many Southerners take church pretty seriously, and asking them about it can seem rude or a little too personal. Instead, you should value how these people make community bonds through these traditions. Even if you don’t do the same, it’s certainly interesting to see how the church connects so many people together.
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