Parents aim to do everything they can for their children, and that’s something that doesn’t stop when they become adults. Most of the time, as kids grow up, they begin to become close friends with their parents, starting an entirely new type of bond. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for everyone; many can dissociate from them and fall out with their parents instead. The boomer generation has found this out as time has passed, with many of their adult children opting not to stay close to them.
Not being interested in grandchildren
When people’s children become adults, it’s common for them to become parents themselves as they start their own families. That leads to a new chapter in a parent’s life as they become grandparents, which can lead to new bonds not only for the latest addition to the family but also for those already in it. Unfortunately, there are times when people have no interest in their grandchildren, which can lead to a complete breakdown within the family.
Not accepting them
Every parent has a distinct idea of what they’d like from their children’s lives, whether it’s career goals, life choices, or romance, but that doesn’t always go to plan. Everyone is unique, and that’s why people take different paths in life to make their own decisions. Sometimes, if they don’t line up with what a parent might want, it can cause tension, and if they’re not willing to accept that, then many children revolt when they become adults.
Failing to grow with the times
The boomer generation has seen a lot of change from a societal perspective. Whether it’s sexual orientation, gender, or pronouns, there have been many positive changes over the years to make the world more inclusive. But while younger generations are more understanding of that because they’ve grown up with it, that’s not the case for others. Many boomers struggle to adapt to the new terms and aren’t interested in learning or trying, so many adult children fall out with their parents.
Parents divorce
From a child’s perspective, it’s ideal for their parents to be married as it provides a stable home and a typical nuclear family. But, as times have changed divorce has become more common, including the boomer generation. They’re realizing sticking with someone for the sake of it doesn’t always equate to happiness, so divorce can be the best option. This can lead to children falling out with one parent due to the situation’s circumstances.
Not apologizing
The boomer generation can be quite stubborn with their opinions at times, which can lead to issues with adult children. Not apologizing for specific issues can lead to a lot of tension, and the ability to not make amends can be a problem.
Overstepping boundaries
Once someone becomes an adult, they create boundaries for people, whether family or friends. They set standards that they’d like people to abide by, and that can become difficult for parents because they’re used to being able to do whatever they want. But many parents will still head to their homes unannounced or opt to start cleaning things when they’re not asked, which can create rifts between people.
Constantly picking at them
Whether it’s judging their appearance, clothing choices, friendships, or career goals, adult children often get annoyed when their parents continuously pick at them. Parents are supposed to be supportive, which should stay the same even when children grow up, which is where many problems arise.
Not letting go of control
Throughout most of a child’s life, their parents fully control what they do. The adults make all the core decisions, and that’s the standard everyone lives by. But as the children become adults, they often like to make choices themselves, which can be difficult for older parents to accept. Having to relinquish control isn’t something that comes naturally to many, and that is where some parents end up struggling, and arguments can be created.
Not accepting your choice of partner
Growing up often leads to finding romance. Parents will be aware of this ahead of time, and adult children expect their parents to make an effort to accept whoever they choose to spend their lives with and try to build friendships. That doesn’t always work out how people want it to, which can cause rifts as adult children end up choosing their partners over their parents.
Addiction problems
Addiction to substances is often damaging to relationships, and that includes between an adult child and a parent. It doesn’t matter which person is in the wrong; it usually leads to rifts taking place because both sides of the situation end up hurt due to the addiction taking hold of someone.
Issues with a toxic family member
Sometimes, adult children can fall out with their parents due to the decisions of other people in the family. Having a toxic family member who causes problems for the entire family can be an issue for others more than themselves at points. If the parent then opts to stay close to the toxic family member in question, it is a problem for the children.
Values don’t align
Children often grow up with opinions similar to those of their parents purely because they spend so much time together. But when they become adults, that can change because people grow their values, which don’t always align with their parents’, which can create problems.
Political disagreements
Politics is often divisive, with everyone having their own opinions on what is right and wrong. Plenty of times, adult children end up falling out with their parents because of this, particularly if they have contrasting thoughts. While many can overcome that and have healthy debates, that’s not the case for everyone, and that is where issues arise.
Favoritism
Whenever parents opt to have multiple children, there’s always the conversation about favoritism and adults choosing one over the other. That can create a level of bitterness that follows the family into adulthood. But the child who believes themselves to be overlooked can eventually boil over, choosing to argue and disagree.
Having to be the parent growing up
Not every parent is overly supportive and caring throughout people’s childhood, which can lead to many children having to parent themselves. Sometimes, that extends to their siblings, where they feel like they need to look after them because the parent doesn’t do a good enough job. Therefore, when those children reach adulthood, they can simply have given up on their parents, tired of the dynamic not working.
Not being supportive
Getting support for any decisions made in life is essential to everyone. Whether that comes from friends or family, having that belief from others, particularly parents, can be validating. Just because people grow up doesn’t mean they still don’t want to receive that belief from their parents. But it’s often the case that older parents stop being that way, which can create a divide.
Treating them like kids
When children grow into adults, they begin to mature and deserve to be treated with the same respect that any other adult would be given. That’s not always the case, though, as many parents choose to still treat their children as if they are young, which can be frustrating for any adult regardless of their relationship with their parents.
Childhood trauma
One of the biggest reasons adults can opt to stop liking their parents is because of childhood trauma. Whether it’s physical or emotional abuse, people might accept it when they’re young and aren’t fully aware of what’s happening, but when they grow up, that’s something that can change. As children become adults and mature, they understand the decisions their parents made, which can lead to them accepting they suffered trauma, which then can manifest in fallouts.
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