Whether you’re going to a fancy spot for a special occasion or grabbing a bite at your favorite local joint, there are a few things you might want to keep in mind when you’re heading out to eat. These things will ensure your meal goes off without a hitch, and you may not even know about them. Here are 18 things not to do at the dinner table and why.
Don’t forget to RSVP
Don’t leave the host hanging if you have a dinner invite or a reservation. Giving them a quick call to confirm will help the restaurant plan their evening so they’ll have enough hands on deck and food in the kitchen. If plans change, letting them know ASAP is polite and also super helpful for them.
Dress to Impress
Some places like you to dress the part, but that doesn’t mean you must show up in a ball gown to a burger bar. If it’s a fancy place, those flip-flops might not cut it, so make sure you quickly check the restaurant’s website or give them a call ahead of time. When in doubt, a little over-dressed is better than under-dressed.
Respect the Staff
Remember that the people serving you are people, too, and they’re working hard to make your meal memorable. A smile and a kind “thank you” can make their day just as much as yours, and it could even get you some extra attentive service. You won’t get anything from them by being mean.
Phone Goes Off the Table
While we’re usually all glued to our phones, mealtime is a chance to disconnect, so put your phone away. Doing so will help everyone feel a bit more valued and prove to them that you’re really there to spend time with them, not your screen. You’ll probably enjoy your food a lot more this way, too.
Napkin Know-How
As soon as you sit down, that napkin should go on your lap because it’ll prevent you from getting a lap full of spaghetti. If you need to step away, just leave it on your chair, and everyone will know you’ll be right back. It’s just something small, but it can have a big effect and help maintain the decorum of wherever you are.
Silverware Smarts
Those forks and knives aren’t just there to look pretty, and while fumbling around with your silverware might not ruin the night, getting it right keeps things classy. Start from the outside, work your way in with each course, and make sure you use your cutlery correctly each time.
Chew, Then Chat
We’ve all got stories to tell, but try to share them between bites, not during. Nobody likes someone who gets their food everywhere, and it’s also a lot nicer to listen to someone who isn’t talking with their mouth full. Do you really want people to know you as the person who sprays it instead of saying it?
Don’t Pile Your Plate
At a buffet or family dinner, it’s easy to get excited and stack that plate high, but you should always start small. You can always go back for seconds, and putting less on your plate reduces waste. You’ll also be able to sample various dishes without overwhelming your plate or palate, so follow the buffet rules.
Pass, Don’t Stretch
If you need the salt from the other side of the table, then a simple “Could you pass the salt, please?” is way better than doing a full yoga stretch across the table. After all, you could end up having dinner disasters by leaning over. You should have a little respect for everyone else’s personal space.
Wait for Everyone
You might want to start eating when your food arrives because your dish looks hot and ready. But waiting until everyone has their food shows you care about the group experience, which is important since you’re trying to enjoy the meal together. It’ll also help create a sense of unity with your fellow guests.
Wine Tasting Like a Pro
If wine’s an option, just remember you’re meant to taste it, not just drink it. Swirl, sniff, and sip, but avoid making a show of it or being too critical. You’re there to enjoy the experience instead of critiquing it like a wine connoisseur unless you actually are one; then, by all means, go ahead.
Keep It Clean
Keep any mess on your plate to a minimum because it’s nice for the people who clear up after you, and it’ll also make you look like you’ve got everything under control, even if you haven’t. A tidy table is more inviting for everyone at the table, and, in all honesty, it’s basic manners. Don’t be a slob.
Tip Generously
It should go without saying that tipping is part of the dining culture, and you should always do it. Of course, if the service was terrible, you don’t have to bother, but leaving a 15-20% tip is standard and much appreciated. It proves to the wait staff and your guests that you value the hard work of serving up a good meal.
Order With Care
Never order for the whole table without checking what everyone wants first. Everyone’s tastes are different, and what’s delicious to you might be awful to someone else, so go around the table to see that you all agree. You don’t want to have that awkward moment when one of the guests pushes their plate away untouched.
Pronunciation Problems
It’s perfectly fine if you want something you can’t pronounce on the menu. Just ask the server for help instead of shouting out a guess, as it’ll save you some potential embarrassment and maybe even learn something new. Asking how to pronounce words means you’re willing to learn and appreciate the cuisine.
Handle Mistakes Gracefully
Your order will get mixed up at some point, but the important thing is to keep your cool and let the server know quietly. Making a scene can ruin everyone’s mood, not just at your table. Deal with these mistakes gracefully so they can correct them efficiently without causing any issues.
Share the Spotlight
Of course, dinner is a great time to catch up, but make sure everyone gets their turn to talk. You should share the food and the stories so that everybody’s engaged and nobody feels overshadowed. Being a good listener and storyteller will make the meal far more enjoyable and memorable for the right reasons.
Avoid Touchy Topics
Lastly, keep the conversation light and friendly by avoiding politics or personal drama, as these can quickly make things tense. Save those topics for another time, like over coffee, so you can keep things light. This is particularly important when you’re dining with new people or in professional settings.
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