When it comes to using pronouns and gendered language, we all end up tripping over ourselves at some point. It doesn’t always come from a place of anger, as it’s sometimes a genuine mistake. Here are 25 times when we might make a mistake with pronouns without actually meaning to.
Party Mix-Up
Anytime there’s a social gathering, there’ll definitely be some pronoun mistakes. You might be enjoying the music and snacks, but suddenly, you talk about someone using the wrong pronoun. But don’t get yourself worked up because it’s completely normal. Apologizing and using the correct pronouns will quickly smooth things over.
Introducing Yourself
Speaking of social events, some people like to introduce themselves using their pronouns, which can catch some people off-guard. It takes a little getting used to, especially for the people from older generations. Research shows that people over 50+ find it a lot harder to get familiar with these new labels than younger people.
Email Sign-Offs
It’s becoming a lot more common to add pronouns to email signatures so that everyone can address each other correctly from the start. But if you’re not used to seeing “they/them” other pronouns in a signature, it might catch you off guard. All you’ll need is a little time to get used to it, which can really help everyone out.
Customer Service
In customer service, it’s pretty normal to use “sir” or “ma’am” based on your initial impression of someone. After all, most people think it’s polite. Of course, mistakes can happen, and sometimes, these titles don’t match the customer’s identity. If you make a quick correction and give a smile, you should be able to clear up any awkwardness.
Doctor’s Office
Many medical forms aren’t exactly up-to-date with some people’s modern view of gender, and they might only give you “male” or “female” as options. If these choices don’t represent your identity, you might feel a little frustrated about this. But things are changing, and many medical institutions are starting to address this.
Guessing Games
In online forums and social media, you can’t always see the person you’re talking to, so it’s easy to assume someone’s gender. Sometimes, this can actually be a mistake because you might not use the right pronoun to talk about them. That doesn’t mean you’re trying to be mean, as it’s an easy mistake to make.
Holiday Cards
If you’re sending out holiday cards, you might want to think before addressing envelopes to couples or people whose pronouns you’re not sure about. The solution? Send them a quick message or give them a call to clear things up. This way, they’ll receive your good wishes without any confusion.
Presentational Pronouns
During a business or academic presentation, you might talk about a previous speaker or someone else’s work. Sometimes, this can lead to you using the wrong pronoun, especially if you’ve never met them before. Check out their profile beforehand or, better yet, ask around to avoid any embarrassment.
Conference Name Tags
Similarly, if you’ve ever been to a conference, you’ll know that having a name tag is pretty much a must. But even with this, you might not always know the pronouns to use when talking about other people. You might want to introduce a line for pronouns to keep those networking events running smoothly.
Class Confusion
When you join a new class, whether it’s for fitness or something else, it’s pretty normal for an instructor to use gendered language based on assumptions. They might call an all-female group “ladies” or even use “guys” to talk about mixed-gender groups. It’s not coming from a place of being offensive, it’s just a regular part of our language.
Childcare Challenges
Parents and caregivers at playgrounds or daycare centers might assume things about other children based on their appearance. For example, if you see a short-haired child, chances are that you’re going to call them a boy. It’s a common mistake to make, and all it needs is a political correction to resolve things.
Group Chats
It’s also pretty easy to use “guys” to address everyone in a group chat or online meetings. If you’re looking to avoid this, try going for more inclusive alternatives like “everyone” or even “folks” for those more relaxed settings. After all, you want to make everyone feel welcome and not accidentally exclude them, right?
Wedding Worries
A lot of us don’t like doing public speaking, but that doesn’t stop us from giving speeches or toasts at weddings. You might think you’ve got the right ones, but then you go and make a mistake that ruins the whole thing. If you want to keep your words respectful, make a note or do a quick rehearsal so you get it right.
Book Club Blunders
During book club meetings, you’ve not only got to think about the pronouns of the people around you but also the characters and even the authors themselves. It’s enough to give anyone a headache. You might want to look up the author before attending or pay close attention to how the characters are described.
Policy Pronouns
Companies and organizations are always updating their policies, but sometimes, they forget to think about the policies they’re using. So, regularly training employees and reminding them of what words to use can help everyone adjust to the changes smoothly. After all, research shows that including gendered pronouns can make certain groups feel more positive.
Library Registrations
Signing up for a library card or similar membership will mean you’ve got to fill out special forms. Sometimes, they’re just as old as some of the books on the shelves, and they might not recognize non-binary or fluid identities. That doesn’t mean they’re trying to be prejudiced, it’s just that they’re not completely with the times yet.
Therapeutic Pronouns
Therapists and counselors are becoming more aware of why they need to get pronouns right, but that doesn’t mean they’re perfect. For new clients, a simple question about pronouns at the start can get things started in a respectful way. After all, you want people to feel comfortable when they’re sharing intimate details about their lives.
Subscription Services
It doesn’t matter what services you subscribe to because they’ll sometimes address you by default gendered terms, just based on name alone. If it really bothers you, try updating your profile or speaking to customer services about it. As more companies catch on, we’ll probably see a shift towards more personalized communities.
Job Applications
Anyone applying for a job expects to share their personal information, but some people might be confused if there’s no space to specify their pronouns. Including an option means you’ll get the pronouns right and show any potential employees that you’re respecting their identity. It’s a win-win for everyone.
Emergency Services
Of course, during an emergency situation, using the correct pronouns is the least of anyone’s worries. But that doesn’t mean it should be ignored. First responders should be trained and aware of the right pronouns to use to show respect for everyone because, even during life-or-death situations, we all deserve to be seen.
Community Meetings
During community events, speakers will usually talk to the crowd using gendered language like “ladies and gentlemen.” It doesn’t mean they’re trying to be rude as such because this language is just a relic of older times. Perhaps you should try using more inclusive phrases like “everyone” so that everyone’s feeling respected.
Sports League
Signing up for a local sports league could involve you completing a form that’ll ask for your gender. But since not everyone fits into “male” or “female” categories so easily, this can put people in a tough spot. It’d probably be better if they started to ask for pronouns instead so we could avoid any awkward mix-ups.
Family Gatherings
Family events are difficult even at the best of times, and it’s even harder when you’ve got relatives you haven’t seen in a while. They might not be up to speed with the etiquette over pronouns and what to refer to people as. Be kind and give them a quick refresher before things start so things stay positive.
VR Gaming
In the virtual world, avatars can look like anything, and it’s easy to forget that behind every character is a real person with real pronouns. It could be useful to do a quick check on pronoun preferences before you get started so that the experience is better for everyone. Plus, it’ll keep things respectful, and studies show that it can help people feel seen.
Movie Night
Just because you’re having a casual movie night with your friends doesn’t mean you should ignore people’s pronouns. What will you do if someone brings along a new friend that you’ve never met before? Perhaps try introducing everyone with their pronouns as you hand out the popcorn.
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