Every culture has its quirks and unwritten norms, and America is no different. These unspoken rules help us to navigate the social landscape, making interactions smoother and more predictable. Whether you’re a local or a visitor, understanding these nuances can help you blend in and appreciate the subtleties of American life. Let’s take a look at 22 unspoken rules of being an American.
Respect the BBQ
In the US, barbecue is more than a cooking method; it’s a cultural event. From backyard gatherings to competitive cook-offs, the respect for good BBQ is paramount. People take pride in their grilling skills and often have strong opinions on techniques and recipes. The phrase “Summertime cookout” has become synonymous with American summer BBQs outside with good music, friends, and good food.
Tipping is Mandatory
In America, tipping is expected, unlike in some countries where it is optional. Waiters, bartenders, and even hairdressers rely on tips as a significant part of their income. A good tip is seen as a sign of appreciation for excellent service, and Americans often struggle not to tip whenever they’re abroad as it is so ingrained in their culture.
Hold Your Liquor
Drinking is a common social activity in the US, but there’s an unspoken expectation to handle your alcohol well. Being excessively drunk is frowned upon in American society, especially in more formal or mixed-company settings. Being able to “hold your liquor” and carry yourself well after a few drinks is important if you don’t want to lose respect in public.
Never Arrive Empty-Handed
Americans love gift-giving, and it’s seen it as a major faux pas to arrive at someone’s home empty-handed. When invited to a potluck or any gathering, bringing a dish of food or a gift is customary. It’s a way to contribute and show appreciation for the host’s efforts and invitation.
Respect Personal Space
Americans value personal space and generally prefer to keep a comfortable distance during conversations and social interactions. This preference for personal space is most notable when Americans are abroad on holiday in different cultures who aren’t aware of this US social etiquette, and it can be a little awkward sometimes.
The Oxford Comma Debate
Grammar might seem trivial, but the Oxford comma sparks strong opinions. Some swear by its clarity, while others find it unnecessary. Either way, it’s a quirky part of American writing culture, most of which has been adapted from English into a version of American English that’s only used in the US.
Embrace Challenges
Americans love competitions, from pie-eating contests to trivia nights, and they love a good challenge. It’s all about the thrill of competing, the fun of participating and being social with friends and family.
Root for the Local Team
Supporting local sports teams is almost a civic duty. Whether it’s Little League or the major leagues, showing hometown pride is a big deal. Americans love to root for their local teams, often showing up on the sidelines in the team jersey, ready to shout encouraging slogans and spur the team on.
Stand for the Anthem
Patriotism runs deep in America, and standing for the national anthem at sports events, ceremonies, and other public gatherings is a common practice. This gesture is a sign of respect, unity, and deep pride that Americans have for their country.
Line Etiquette
Although queueing is often thought of as more of a British trait, Americans know how to stand in line, too. Plus, cutting in line is seen as extremely rude, and waiting your turn is expected in all sorts of settings, from coffee shops to concerts.
Casual Dress Code
Americans often favor casual dress codes, even in situations where other cultures might dress up, like a party, bar, or nightclub. You’ll find Americans in jeans and t-shirts. Though, of course, it depends on the context, but in most scenarios, if in doubt about what to wear to an event, in the US, casual is good for most occasions.
Dessert is a Must
Who doesn’t want dessert? Americans have a sweet tooth, and skipping dessert is almost unthinkable. From apple pie to ice cream sundaes, ending a meal with something sweet is a cherished tradition in US cuisine.
Small Talk Savvy
Small talk is a key social skill in the US. Whether discussing the weather, sports, or weekend plans, these brief conversations are a way to connect and ease into more substantial interactions.
Respect the Remote
In many households, the TV remote is a coveted item. There’s often an unspoken hierarchy about who controls it, reflecting broader dynamics within the home. And whoever has the remote has the power in the entire household.
Grilling is Sacred
The grill is a cherished tool, and barbecuing is a revered activity. Whether using charcoal or gas, the grill master holds a place of honor at any cookout.
Don’t Skip the RSVP
For parties and events, it’s important to RSVP. Letting hosts know if you can attend helps them plan and shows respect for their effort in organizing the event. Not returning an RSVP is considered a major faux pas and just bad manners.
Hold the Door
Chivalry is not dead in America, and simple acts of courtesy, like holding the door open for others, are still a standard practice. This small gesture is a way to show politeness and consideration.
Sunday Football
For many, Sundays in the fall are reserved for football. Whether watching at home, in a sports bar or attending a game, it’s a beloved pastime that brings people and families together all across America.
Love for the Underdog
Americans have a soft spot for underdog stories, whether in sports, movies, or life. Rooting for the little guy is part of the national ethos, and Americans love celebrating perseverance and grit.
Never Discuss Politics at Dinner
To keep social gatherings pleasant, it’s best to avoid sensitive topics like politics or religion at the dinner table. These discussions can quickly become heated and escalate into disagreements, and nobody can enjoy their food if they’re in the middle of an argument.
Instant Coffee is a No-No
To say that Americans are coffee lovers is an understatement, and instant coffee is often looked down upon as cheap or poor quality. Freshly brewed coffee, however, preferably from a local coffee shop or a home setup, is the way to go.
Comfort Food Heals All
Most Americans are foodies, and it’s a big part of US culture. From mac and cheese to chicken soup, comfort food is a staple in American households. It’s the go-to for dealing with stress, and sadness, celebrating success, or dating, and Americans don’t need an excuse to enjoy a good meal.
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